Things to know when in relationship

3 min readSep 2, 2022

At one point in my writing life, my writing mentor asked me to write out a list of things I wanted in a relationship.

“Wow, that’s a hard one,” I said.

I didn’t have a whole lot of trust to tell you the truth. I’m not sure that has improved. In fact, it might have gotten worse.

I’m trustworthy, but I can’t vouch for anyone else. Even then, if it’s something so juicy that I need to share it, I just might.

And, therein lies the rub.

Who can we actually, honestly trust these days? Hopefully, we can trust those closest to us.

Our Families.

Our Parents.

Our Sisters.

Our Brothers.

Our Children

Our friends. (This even includes a frenemy because once you know you can’t trust them, you can trust them to be who they are — untrustworthy.) But, I digress.


Friends with benefits — they are there for a specific reason, so yes, we can trust them to be who they are.

We think we can trust our co-workers, but can we really? Who hasn’t had a co-worker undermine them in some way or another. Especially the ones who talk about others to you. Let’s face it, if they’re ready to talk about someone to you, chances are they’re talking about you too.

And, if it means getting ahead at your expense….maybe they’ll throw you under the bus.


Without remorse.

So, who’s left then to trust?

Myself, of course!

If I can trust myself to keep my word, know myself and believe in myself, then that’s the best thing going.

How much does it matter if someone tries to hurt or demean me if I know who I am and hold no grudges or animosity?

As a person of substance then, having choices and using them to the best of my ability offers a sense of power, within.

We can stand up for ourselves.

We can use our voices.

We can matter to ourselves. That ripples outward and others pick up on the vibrational aspects of our purposeful energy.

That matters.

We always have power.

Trouble is, most people don’t want to step into it, use it, be responsible for their lives.

Even still,

It’s easier to choose ourselves over them.

When we do that, during that momentary switch, we align ourselves. That teensy, tiny moment is where the power lies.

It is the difference between having and not having.

Choosing and not choosing.

Speaking up or remaining quiet.

Being authentic or not.

And because of that, we all have one thing in common.


That is what we’re given at birth.

How do you want to use yours?




Tina is a memoir writing coach and develops website & direct response copy, including short and long form manuscripts. She can be reached at